This year I have arrived to my summer holidays with high levels of anxiety again. Like in the so called “good old times”.
In June I had several work events that brought too much into my head and very much away from my body and I struggled to get back to a balanced place, as I was moving forward. At some point I decided to accept it knowing that holidays would arrive soon and they will naturally help me to balance again.
When the holidays arrived, knowing my mind-body condition, I planned for an experiment. I choose to practice the body scan meditation for a month and follow up each time with some writing in my meditation log. Also I would attend a weekly yoga class.
I researched upfront different body scans from different people and lengths and started my personal commitment for the month.
To note, before sharing further, the body scan has been historically the most difficult meditation to practice for me. I always fell sleep on the knees and woke up on the chest, no matter what was the length or the voice conducting the meditation. I never understood it. I always thought it was long and boring and somehow useless. And only when started guiding it I started getting into it progressively. And also, mentoring with Char helped me to identify the rejection I had towards certain body parts and therefore the difficulty to practice it. Becoming aware of this has helped me to work on it to perceive beyond aesthetics.
The learning’s I gathered with this experiment are the following:
1. The practice of this meditation has helped me to identify where the “trash” was in my body after the last very hectic months. And to step away from drama to be with what it is. As one of my teachers once said “stop worrying, start caring”.
2. I have learned as well that certain parts of my body have a tendency to contract, like my trapezoids. This happens when I am nervous, but unfortunately my body has adopted it as a natural body posture due to the habit and the minute I get distracted my muscles automatically contract again.
3. It has given me greater body awareness and connection with myself throughout the day and this has helped me to identify certain adjustments I needed to do in my meals and also the important role that pumping up my heart plays to reset my brain and energy.
4. Registering my evolution in my meditation log has helped me a great deal to notice the subtleties of my own evolution.
5. With the steady practice I have discovered that my body is probably the safest place where I can ever be. Going beyond the aesthetics, becoming aware with kindness of my body, this has given me the feeling of entering “home”. And “home” for me means warmth and safety. I can hardly believe that the body I have been rejected for many years it is actually the place I feel safest nowadays.
The Church says: the body is a sin.
Science says: the body is a machine.
Advertising says: The body is a business.
The Body says: I am a fiesta.
What have you learned from body scan meditation practice since your started practicing? How do you know is time for a Body Scan Meditation practice?
Cuca Azinovic, Spain